Parenting can be rough. Children will make mistakes and test the very last nerve you have at times
There is no ‘right’ way to parent. All children are different and unique. All parents are different and unique. The most important thing you can do is to put your efforts into communicating with your child.
I don’t mean bark commands at them or act like they are your minions there to do your bidding. I mean strive for quality conversations and really get to know them.
Yes, you have a huge part in helping them develop and can influence them in lots of different ways, but each child will have their own unique personality.
Basically, don’t expect them to be just like you.
Communication is the only way to truly understand another human being. Talk with the intent to learn and understand. Do this respectfully and you will be able to crack the code on how your child learns, thinks and expresses themselves.
Good communication has other benefits as well…
Your Child Can Teach You Things or Make You Re-evaluate a Belief
When she was little, my daughter was always pulling the china down to use it. I had been told my whole life that china was only to be used for special occasions. But when she asked me why, I didn’t have an good answer for her. We don’t entertain and it was being wasted just sitting in a cupboard. So now we use it everyday.
That was just a small example, but she’s actually changed my mind on quite a few things and has made me more open-minded in general.
By not dismissing her straight out, it has forced me to question beliefs I inherited from my upbringing, and reexamine them to see if they really are in line with the person I’ve become.
Better Communication and Thinking Skills
When you show them respect and explain the “why” behind what you are telling them instead of throwing out a “Because I said so.”, they will learn to communicate their needs and desires in a more helpful and healthy way.
They learn to pause and question their actions. This allows them to the ability to think through situations when they arise.
If instead of getting defensive, you pause and work through your reasons, they will learn to do the same thing.
And if in re-evaluating your reasons, you actually end up conceding to them on some disagreement because they presented a good argument, that’s okay. It builds their confidence and reinforces the importance of thinking things through to better express themselves.
As they grow, you become more confident in letting them figure out some things on their own.
Exactly how do you learn to communicate better with your child? Click on the link below to an article on allprodad.com. I couldn’t have put this any better, so I didn’t.
6 Ways to Improve Communication with Your Children
A Closer Relationship
When you talk to each other with openness and mutual respect, your child won’t feel the need to hide things from you. They will know that it’s okay to not agree on everything.
They will be more willing to talk to you at the first signs of a problem and not as a last resort, when it may have completely gotten out of hand.
Open communication with your child is more worthwhile then having them do everything you say without question. Remember that. It allows both you and your child to grow.
Do you have a great relationship with your child and have additional advice to share? Please, drop a comment below.
Communication is key.
Traci
My daughter is only 4 buts he acts like she is 8. She always asks “Why?” and she still has tantrums at odd moments. What I noticed was that I didn’t explain much to her because I didn’t feel I needed to.
My parents never explained to me and it was viewed as disrespect when you asked a question. One night she was screaming for at least 2 hours. I almost lost it when nothing I did would calm her down. I had to wake up out of my sleep at 3am, cuddle her, ask over and over why she was so upset and then finally explain to her the best way to express it. I also had to learn to stop calling her “bad”
She understood and this approach helped. But I also learned, although she doesn’t have the same responsibilities as an adult she is still a human, a girl and spazzes out like I do. She is also constantly on-the–go because I am constantly on-the-go. Which can be a bit overwhelming.
Sometimes I can’t explain my mood change. Sometimes its the smallest thing that annoys me, like the fact that people can’t have normal conversations anymore or distracted by things that won’t even matter in 5 years. That’s not even my problem to be upset about.
I don’t think her reasoning is that much different than most adults. But we definitely communicate more about it now & she is getting better…so am I.
Thank you for sharing this with us! I think sometimes we are so quick to discount kids are just being kids. It’s always a learning experience. Just as important as listening is teaching them valuable communication skills, especially hard when they are on our last nerve.