You Put What On Your Hoo-Ha?!?

Let me put your mind at ease, or lower your expectations (you know who you are!).  This post isn’t about anything weird or kinky. I’m going to be sharing my recent battle with one of the most annoying feminine infections.

About six months ago, I had the misfortune to find myself with a yeast infection.  I always try to find homeopathic remedies first for any ailment.  I hate going to the doctor, and I will avoid prescription drugs if I can get away with it.  Also, living on a really tight budget, I was trying to avoid spending $15 or more for Monistat.  

So in my quest, I found the following suggestions via Pinterest:

• Coconut oil – consume 1 to 2 tsps daily and apply topically
• Apple Cider Vinegar – drink 1 tsp with glass of water and wash genitals daily
• Kreosotum 30c – tablets you put under your tongue and let dissolve – 3-4 daily
• Tea Tree Oil mixed with Coconut Oil – applied topically
• Yogurt – eat and apply topically
• Hydrogen Peroxide – tsp in a cup of water and applied topically

Due to my self-defeating (at times) stubbornness, my battle lasted over three weeks, so I had plenty of time to try out all of these.  

To begin, a spoonful of coconut oil is really disgusting to eat.  Applying it topically did relieve the itching, but did nothing for the infection.  Word to the wise here, wear a pad in your underwear, because when the oil warms up, it  starts leaking out.  Feeling like I was constantly leaking was uncomfortable to say the least.  Also, mixing Tea Tree Oil with it only seemed to make my nether region reek of a combination of menthol and dirt. 

Yogurt, like the coconut oil, didn’t do a thing to cure the yeast infection, but did soothe the itching.  However, if I thought the warm coconut oil was an uncomfortable feeling during the day, walking around with a glop of yogurt in my panties was way worse.

Surprisingly, drinking the Apple Cider Vinegar wasn’t that unpleasant.  I would recommend adding a little honey. It stung a tiny bit when I washed with it.  Regardless, after a week, the infection still wasn’t gone.

I ordered the Kreosotum 30c off of Amazon and took as directed.  It’s basically these little tiny pearls that you allow to dissolve under your tongue.  Pleasant tasting, really, but after a week I didn’t see any improvement. Knowing that Monistat can work in one day, I figured a week was long enough.  

Lastly, the Hydrogen Peroxide – OH MY GOD, LADIES, NO!  Do not try this at all! You’d think since it’s diluted, it would not burn too much, but I was in serious distress!  The pain came immediately upon application, and I could not get that stuff washed off quickly enough. Even then, I had to sit spread-eagle in front of a fan for half an hour, before it finally subsided.  Fucking Ow!

I still believe in trying homeopathic remedies first, as I have had some success in the past.  But in the case of your lady parts, please do yourself a favor and just go to the damn store and spend the money on Monistat.

So why do I share this story?  To be entertaining? Maybe. So others can relate? Hopefully. So what about you? Any tales of horror trying out an “old wives’ tales” or a Pinterest post or a suggestion by a “friend”?  Let me share your woe by leaving it in the comments below.  If your tale is a little on the longer side, feel free to email it to me, and I’ll share a bunch of them in a future post.

Be Safe Out There (or Down There in this particular case),

Traci